Like an antithesis to a John Hughes film, I have always wondered how would things end between us. Not that it matters, but at least some decency to close some doors left for expectations and weekly page visit on some social networking sites. But life has its funny ways.
It's that moment where Lloyd Dobler turns off and put that boombox back to his car.
Today was random day. After my god-knows-how-boring class, I received an sms from Nikki,a college barkada, who will be in the university to process some papers. The usual, she was late for an hour. But to compensate, she asked me to accompany her to Quiapo to check her client, then would foodtrip like the old days. Its food and Quiapo, so I said yes.
Instead of Jake Ryan waiting outside the church, the graveyard was there in black and white.
Looking back, I realized it didn't start as a real thing. Which makes me wonder if there's even a taint of sensibility on it. It was our last semester in college, both have the option of taking up law because of our parents and maybe we were just up for some frenzy to kill the stress out. You were the wallflower, but your crooked smile always got me. We were sweating after that PE class, but the locker room was always there for some more exciting game.
Semester ended, and I thought, maybe for one time I can let my safeguards down and try to take thing slowly and seriously. But we made it too clear that it was only good while it lasts. There was nothing to look forward to. And since I suck at expressing emotions thru words, I asked you to watch a short film as my way of saying goodbye.
Describing Blake McDonough as "not like the others" by your best bud is far fetched, like the impossibility of proposing inside a trespassed football stadium.
After a few trips to Hidalgo and filling our appetite with reused oil infested foods along the streets of Recto, Nikki and I decided to call it a day. Instead of walking to Recto station like we used to, we decided to take a jeep and take the Legarda station instead. With heavy bags and stomachs, we argued what part of the train will we sit. I won, and waited at the one nearest to the front, just behind the discriminatory line of all train system in the country.
Life has insane ways of keeping things up. My eyes roamed for a few seconds and there you are waiting on the same train line as I am. Of course I knew you are already in Beda. But never in my wildest fantasy did it caught me that of all the possible time and place, it has got to be today. If this got to be an authentic 80's movie, then this would probably signal the musical number.
My heart skipped a beat. My emotions would have prompted me too walk towards you and say hi. Maybe we could catch up with our lives, discuss the Supreme Court plagiarism case or some law shits if you want to, or just some random musings. But I guess that was not meant to be. I pretended to text while talking to Nikki but as soon as I raised my head, you were already on the other yellow waiting line on the train, just looking at the darkness with blank eyes. That was so you. As a defense I also moved to the next opposite line. Our eyes could've met, but I was afraid I might see fire in your eyes, and you might see mine. So we faced againts each other and went silent. Fair game.
Gilmore station. Where else would you go but to treasure the sanctity of your room and your nirvana of being left alone. But the four stations between Legarda and Gilmore was enough to clarify one thing- it was all for nothing.
John Bender could have punched his fist to the air to signify a romantic triumph, but instead, it hit me on the face, and woke me up.
Your birthday greeting two months ago was a line from that film I gave you. I thought is was hilarious for your sarcastic sense of humor. I just found out Australian Filmfest is showing Mary and Max next month and I thought of how we both like that movie and the part where Que Sera Sera was played. The memory of our first and last conversation along Katipunan, still in vivid colors in my head. But the last time I checked my heart, it was numb all over.
We all have scars. We all have stories. But if it's not like the 80's movies, then I guess that's just how it should be.