Shameless plugging

Dahil walang saysay ang buhay kung walang... SHOCK VALUE!
For its 35th theater season, Dulaang UP will bring back TV's most wanted monsters. Shock Value will run from the 15th of September till some time in October.

You should watch because
1) My friend is part of the cast.
2) I watched it four years ago and I can still play scenes in my mind.
3) It is Dulaang UP + Floy Quintos
4) One of the best I've seen from the group.

September is a good month. It will be.

Drought over

Okay. I watched the pageant while studying so my attention was distracted plus Philippines in the semis was, for me, predictable. But this video is just share-able. Veejay Floresca jumping is a sight to behold.
I assume every beauty pageant fanatics were as wild as the video, or maybe wilder.

Congrats Venus Raj! Major Major!


Sometimes, I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I am not living. That most of the time, I ask myself how's it going with the lie I am dealing with.


I don't know if this has to do with both my parents working for the government or it's just they know the way to my mind.

I am not actually vocal with my parents about what's happening with my life. They never heard anything from me when I was on the verge of shifting to MassComm back in college , nor when I had the worst heartache I had so far. I am close to my mom, but my nature just leans towards being secretive and unexpressive.

Except for these past months. I was very vocal with the stress and death I am suffering.

And because my parents were such good angels sent from heaven (sarcasm included), the moment my mom visited me and my sister in our apartment, a money wasting spree happened. My mom said I should also destress sometimes and plunge myself with worldly pleasure(I wish I could tell her Mr. Dreamguy is single once again).

So after one weekend of doing not law related things, I saw myself with a brand new laptop, an extra phone so I can have a Sun sim, more money in my account, almost a dozen new novels and DVDs and brand new school supplies.
Again, I am not sure if I'll be happy or not.

Naiveness can be dangerous

We were never allowed to have cats as pet- the absolute opposite of our neighbor who has at least 6 cats in their house. I was in high school when I saw our neighbor's 5 year-old son drop one of their cat's new born kitten from their balcony. The kid went down to check the kitten, but as I expected, the poor kitten was already dead. Instead of crying, the kid's face was painted with disappointment.

When I was given a chance to talk with the kid, I asked him why he did that to the poor kitten. His innocent face turned on me and explained the reason in his childish way. It turned out, his yaya told him cats have nine lives and the reason why there are a lot of cats in the highway was due to the fact that they don't die easily. So the unsuspecting kid did what he thought was real. And the reality was not what he expected. And one life has to suffer.

But that was years ago and the kid is already old to know that cats don't have more than one life- already grown up to be more critical and sophisticated.

Everyday, I sleep at 3AM when my eyes start to feel drowsy. I wake up exactly an hour before my class. If earlier, I grab my books and read again. If later, I rush and could finish personal care for 10 minutes. I go to school with a backpack, a shoulder bag, book in one hand and a jacket on the other. I would pass by the canteen to buy water and candy, sometimes take a smoke. I would take my seat in the center of the room and start to curse the cases I wasn't able to finish. During the class, my emotions would shift from nervousness to relief to being more nervous until the prof leaves the room. After class, I would chitchat with some friends. I would either go home or to the library with one purpose- to study. But I always end up sleeping. I would eat dinner, and realize I haven't eaten anything the whole day. Surf the internet a few minutes, go back to reading then sleep. The cycle just goes on. For weekends, just remove the going to school part and you have my life.

This routine, for the purpose of a possible long term benefit my parents have longed for. The idea of having someone of legal profession in the family was such a vision that was brought upon by Ally McBeal and relatives who are not satisfied with their lives. The notion of a good future, fulfilling career, dozens of car and mistresses seem enticing enough for my titos, titas and cousins' uncomplicated mind. I was the golden boy, anyway.

People, when clueless about something, take what other people say without further questions. Often times, they are trapped by the expectations that they take it as the reality without even thinking. Worse, they take other people with their perceived reality.

I was no superman. But this current artless life had turned out to be my kryptonite.

Midterm dilemma

They say change is good. But after entering a new world, would going back to your previous one constitute change or merely an act of reverting. Thus, applied retroactively, would involve going back to the original state. And if this reversion is a result of a struggling personal conflict, then would the law of the universe conspire despite influences and dilemmas brought upon by unsettled conflicts.

Ok. That previous paragraph looked like retired Chief Justice Panganiban writing the first few paragraphs of his ponente. And I am updating this blog despite having a200 page SCRA waiting for me, so I'll keep this short.

After two months in this hell, some lights were shed. The story- I was in company with my creative alter ego again last week. I did some art stuff for our group, and together with a classmate who worked for an ad agency for the last three years, we gave the umph to our class and the professor. Yes, the thing still dealt with law school, but the appreciation and the praises for the concept and the work were so uplifting I even uploaded it in FB (if we are friends in FB, then you probably know I don't post images there)

Thus, the dilemma that comes after.

I am seriously updating my resume now and trying to keep in touch with all those companies and agencies I rejected last summer just because I entered this portal of hell. This is hard because one, it takes pride (and maybe humiliation) in what I am doing and two, focus on the plurality of the word agencies and companies (oo na mayabang na, pero madami talaga:)).

Midterm season and these questions keep popping in my mind again. My mom is visiting this weekend, and some serious talking may happen.

Also, I need some reminding that I need to read 2-3 feet of papers for this month. Talking about life. Thank you.