Boring life symptom #1

It was one of those unexplainable moments of eye contact where response is inevitable.

After almost a thousand bucks gone and only a few cases read, I noticed you looking at me. I pretended I didn't care. You went back to sipping your coffee and reading some medical stuff alien to my mens rea. And the usual drama went on. You looked, I looked, our eyes met, repeat after 10 minutes.

Typical situations usually need no thinking. I stoop up to go to the CR. After passing by your table, I heard the creaks of your chair. In a few seconds, only the sound of your footsteps echoed with the jazz music in the coffee shop. But despite the small space we are in, all that happened were a few minutes of consciously flirting with no intent of actually doing anything further.

I spent a few more hours and cups of coffee and sticks of cigarette before leaving. All the time, the eye contacts were consensus. Again, typical situation would make me just go and approach you and ask to maybe study somewhere else. But the night ended with the rain and me alone in the car, with piles of cases and papers to be read.

On a more personal note, this week is an absolute social mess. No payday gimik with college friends, no inuman with blockmates, no dinner with family. I might tell my friends I am serious when I told them I am suicidal. This linear, monochromatic uninspiring life is not for me, I guess.

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